Relationships can be…
stressful and hurtful. From intimate relationships, adult friendships, parent/child relationships, and adult relationships with your parents, to those we rarely think about: the relationship we have with money, time and work.
However, the most important relationship is with all the parts of yourself. Yet it is the one most humans turn away from. The good news is:
“When we learn to listen to all of our parts, we can find new solutions to old problems.” – Richard Schwartz
EMDR helped Andromeda realize her dreams.
Andromeda is a successful entrepreneur who became financially independent at a fairly young age. She knows her life purpose. She has worked very hard to be her best self. When it comes to self care, she’s instoppable. Consistent exercise, eating well, and staying in tune with herself are high priority. She continues to grow spiritually, and mental health is a priority.
But one thing continued to haunt her.
Every intimate relationship she had as an adult was abusive. In each relationship she experienced varying levels of verbal abuse. In her final relationship, her life was threatened. That was when she reached out for help. She realized that she was attracting this ‘type’ and continuing harmful relationship patterns! This created a fear of dating. Repeating this pattern is something she did not want to do.
She gained clarity with the use of EMDR therapy,
and realized that these patterns began as a child. Andromeda survived the verbal and mental abuse from her parent as a young child. And, she did this in a very adaptive way, which may likely have saved her life. How? By becoming a people pleaser and a yes person. When her parent got angry, she learned not to fight the the mistreatment. As a child, she unknowingly did this to physically survive, and at the same time maintain a connection with her parent. Unfortunately, it left her with zero sense of safety.
Now, she recognizes that this abused part of her…
needed care, love, and a sense of safety that it didn’t get as a child. By tending to her inner child’s wounds, she now feels unshakeable in her belief that she can navigate new relationships without falling into the same old patterns. She is able to easily discern the genuineness of others she meets. This is because her genuine, adult self is now ‘in the driver’s seat of her life.’
Zane is a gifted musician,
and has always felt a strong need to please his family members. The people pleasing part of his personality was large and in charge. It kept him from following his dream. Everytime he tried to follow his dream, he ended up feeling guilty. He has great difficulty trusting and following his inner voice. Zane struggles with knowing how to separate himself and his own needs from those of his family members.
EMDR helped him find relief for his guilt.
Zane moved away from his family and it felt good because he wasn’t constantly bombarded with anxiety and guilt. But, it took looking at a child part of his personality. It was the caretaker part that was driven to care for the members of his family. Now, he understands that he carries his family system internally. It is a large part of him, for better and for worse. Setting boundaries with his family is allowing him to become his own person, even though he finds it difficult to do. And, he balances out this difficulty by remaining grateful for the values and love he received from his family. They have shaped him into the loving, caring man he is today.
Now, Zane hears…
his OWN internal voice, which he now recognizes as his authentic self. The messages from this adult self are genuine. They are real and empowering. They bring the most relief he’s felt in a very long time – maybe forever.
Ashley was not comfortable in her own skin.
She is a vibrant person with many friends, has a great connection with her partner, and her child is her everything. Yet, sadness is always with her. She doesn’t feel like herself. Some days, she doesn’t even know who she is. Roles, titles, and duties have taken her further from her authentic self.
Questions consumed her.
How can I love all these wonderful parts of my life and still be sad? What is my life about? Do I even have a relationship with myself? One thing she knew to be true was that she was overwhelmed by all her roles. This left her feeling unfulfilled and empty.
In EMDR therapy, she realized…
all of her thoughts were normal. Just speaking them out loud with no judgment brought her relief from her pain. Together, we looked at her relationship patterns – the patterns that strengthened her and those that did not. She made a commitment to re-pattern the unhelpful relationships,and EMDR helped her accomplish this.
Now, she feels…
more connected to her soul. She can calm her racing mind and has returned to more restful sleep. For the first time in sometime, she feels more and more like herself.
Hi, I’m Debbie.
The process of therapy can be transformational. It cracks open the chrysalis of doubt and confusion, revealing your beautiful and most authentic self. Your process of struggle and commitment to caring for yourself creates movement towards healing. First this results in small shifts, and with time and commitment you see more substantial changes.
When we collaborate, the process of transformation becomes less daunting. I provide a safe and inviting space to sit with you through this transformation, supporting you in your struggle, providing gentle guidance, encouraging and helping you practice new skills.
I am privileged and humbled to live out my purpose: helping people transform their pain rather than transmit it, in order to create a more peaceful and loving life and world. As we take this journey together, I am reminded of my own personal journey. I was supported as I experienced my metamorphosis. Now, I find my purpose in supporting yours!
You are ready for therapy if…
You are tired of feeling insecure, confused, or exhausted.
You’ve tried everything you know of to make things better, but haven’t seen much change.
You’re motivated to do the hard work of therapy.
You have the resources of time, money, and energy to put toward changing your inner life for the better.
My compassion, care, and skill
combined with your desire to live a confident, connected, and joyful life
equals a powerful combination.
Waiting to begin therapy strengthens your chrysalis.
Beginning today opens you up to what you desire.
Don’t wait.